The F Show

Urban Dictionary Grows Stronger!

2010-09-21T14:11:00.000-07:00

In case you're wondering what I've been up to lately: I just got my first definition published in Urban Dictionary. You know you're jealous. It was a fun process which required: beer, the interweb. And yeah, it's true, I do know a gsnob or two.

Panda attacks man who wanted a cuddle

2009-04-17T21:20:00.000-07:00

BEIJING (Reuters) -– A panda at a zoo in southern China attacked a student who snuck into its pen hoping for a cuddle with the endangered bear, state media said.

The 20-year-old male student surnamed Liu jumped over the fence at the zoo in the tourist city of Guilin, ignoring warning signs not to, Xinhua news agency said.

""The panda, named Yangyang, was wide awake. Apparently scared by the intruder, he bit at Liu's arms and legs,"" it quoted an unnamed worker as saying after zoo keepers managed to calm the bear and rescue Liu, the report said.

""Yangyang was so cute and I just wanted to cuddle him,"" Liu was quoted as saying from his hospital bed. ""I didn't expect he would attack.""

Old Man Winter

2008-03-04T10:27:00.000-08:00

They Start So Early These Days

2008-03-01T17:55:00.001-08:00

Obama has been a senator for, what, not even 4 years? And apparently he learns fast (from the rest of the degenerates in Washington.)

This story is just more evidence.

I have the audacity to hope that it's not true.

Beards Grow On You

2008-02-27T13:47:00.000-08:00

Beard Cap

If you live in an area that's likely to stay cold for a while longer, or if you just have a thing for funny-looking headgear, check out the Beard Cap ($135). Made from Icelandic wool, the handmade woven cap covers the entire head save for the eyes and nose, and features an awesome beard-like shape, complete with a woven faux mustache. From zero to Grizzly Adams in no time.

This completely ridiculous-looking (and ridiculously expensive) hat would mean one would never have to grow a beard again... but where's the fun in that? Steve & Anna can attest to the fact that beards grow on you. Maybe we should leave it at that.

My beard, ever since its genesis, was the subject of much debate. I'm not sure why. But it's nothing compared to what began (and still continues a month later) when I shaved the beard. Here are some BEFORE and AFTER pictures:

BEFORE

AFTER

Elephant in the room

2008-02-06T08:34:00.000-08:00

Sooooo, no one's talking about the big game Sunday night? What is wrong with you people? No play by play from Steve? No victory dance from Anna? You guys are LAME

Do yourself a favor...

2008-02-04T17:37:00.000-08:00

Watch this video.

Probably, not at work.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/02/01/matt-damon-sings-dances-_n_84456.html

Trust me, you want to watch this.

Fainting Goats

2008-01-09T07:05:00.000-08:00

Rambling through a Friday

2008-01-04T11:07:00.000-08:00

I think it's fair to say that starting yesterday, election fever is officially here. Of course, the candidates have been reported on since November '04, or even earlier if you're talking about Hillary. Regardless, for me, this marks the beginning of the time period where I start actively paying attention to the candidates. Up until this point, other than brief periods of relative interest, I have kind of tried to ignore everything. Now, I guess I don't really have that luxury anymore.

Having said that, I'm trying to figure out what surprises me more from yesterday: Obama's success, or Hillary's failure? Remember, four years ago it was after Iowa that Dean gave his infamous rallying cry that effectively ended his campaign. So, while there is still plenty of time for Hillary to improve her "distant third" status, this wasn't a meaningless vote. In contrast to the Democrats, I'm not sure that Huckabee's success really means anything yet. If he wins NH, then I'll really start to worry. Still, it does looks to me as though Romney, Guiliani, and Thompson have a lot of work to do if they're going to make a run at the Republican slot.

---

Tried to watch Miami Vice yesterday. Blech. We lasted thirty minutes at most, and had to wash out mouths out with a little How I Met Your Mother, season 1. Funny stuff, targeted right at people our age.

---

There will be more coming about this book soon, but I'm reading Land of a Thousand Suns by Khaled Hosseini, the same guy who wrote Kite Runner. I had a hard time picking it up, but once I got going, I loved it.

---

So this Sunday marks a momentous occasion for all, a celebration of three decades in the life of me. Donations will be accepted of either the cash or wine variety. If you must sing songs of in celebration of my birth, I understand. But please, let's keep the festivities down to a dull roar, there are animals sleeping here.

Norm-isms

2008-01-04T08:29:00.000-08:00

Coach: Beer Norm?
Norm: Well I am going to need something to kill time before my second one. Better make it a beer.

Shoveling in the new year, some movies

2008-01-03T11:11:00.000-08:00

Two feet of snow in two days.

Jesus.

I wish I was exaggerating, but that's almost the exact amount of snow that we got. I had scraped off a table in our backyard just before it started snowing on Tuesday, and today there is still just about two feet of snow on it. I honestly can't remember the last time I've lived through that, but it was probably when I lived in Massachusetts. It certainly wasn't New Jersey, that's for sure.

So, yeah, I'm getting a little tired of shoveling, but at the same time, if it's going to be cold there might as well be some snow. Unfortunately it looks like there's going to be some melting going on this weekend, so I guess we can expect some ice to go with the snow. That's what really gets old.

---

Watched some movies over the past week or so, some good, some bad. Here's a few of them:

Syriana - This has been sitting around my house for a long time, and I just haven't been able to make myself watch it. Last night, we were out of Netflix and in the mood for a movie still, so we threw it in. I found it complicated and confusing, but like some of the reviews said, I think that was the point. Syriana was certainly well filmed and well acted, but above all I think it was well cast. Definitely worth a watch for any of you who still haven't seen it.

Into Great Silence - A documentary about the lives of some monks in the French Alps who go through their daily lives without speaking, except for one hour a week when they have some social time, and some chanting and signing of hymns. The first hour of the movie, there isn't a word spoken: the camera simply follows several of the monks around their daily routines. Much like watching a foreign film, and learning to accept the subtitles, the silence works here. I found myself paying much better attention to the actions on the screen thanks to the lack of words. At two and a half hours, this definitely might not be for everybody, but I loved it.

Eastern Promises - In contrast to the previous movie, this is a lean, sparse story of violence amongst Russian gangsters in London. Viggo Mortensen and Naomi Watts are predictably great, but this wasn't really a movie about acting, rather, I thought it was one about the look and feel of violence and its immediate impact. There is extremely vivid and gruesome violence throughout, as well as a highly disturbing scene where you see more of Viggo Mortensen than I for one ever wanted to see. Still, this was an extremely well made movie, but I'm not sure I could recommend it to everyone.

In the Land of Women - This movie sucked donkey balls. There were a couple performances that weren't total crap, but more that were. Meg Ryan proves here that she really can't act even a little bit, and know that she's not cute anymore there's really no reason to put her in a movie. The script blows. The directing blows. Olympia Dukakis should have been cast in a whole different movie, one that deserved the performance she gives. Seriously, don't waste your time watching this movie, it really, really, really sucks. I mean that.

Funny Commercials

2007-12-29T07:47:00.000-08:00

Some soda in New Zealand

Use Condoms

IKEA's grownup toys

An Italian with only one thing on his mind

A little bit of road rage

Death of a funny man

2007-12-20T11:51:00.000-08:00

Someone told me that this week represented ten years since the death of Chris Farley, and I couldn't believe it. Seems like just yesterday that I saw this skit for the first time (ignore the first 30 seconds, I couldn't find a better version):

Oh, and just for fun, a little Phil Hartman, who also has been dead almost ten years.

I guess I can figure out why I don't find many movies funny any more...

Scroogy McGrinch

2007-12-18T11:13:00.000-08:00

For years, I've had some of the elements of a Scrooge. I rarely went so far as saying Bah Humbug, but trust me, I was thinking it loudly.

There are many reasons for this, but the primary one has to do with the commercialization of everything, not just Christmas. There was a time in my life when I liked Christmas carols. They used to have a connotation of Christmas cookies, Santa, and snowmen.

Now? Hallmark and Macy's, shopping lines and crowds, cranky people buying giftcards "just to get their shopping done..." Oh, and, people? There's no Santa. Sorry.

I can't pinpoint exactly the first time I thought about my hatred of Christmas, but it had been brewing for some time. The first time I heard normally rational people talking about how Christmas was going to be ruined if they couldn't get their spoiled little brat an Elmo doll might have been it.

Could have been the first story about a fist fight over a $29 DVD player at Wally world.

Or maybe it was the first time I noticed how unhappy everyone looks while Christmas shopping. There's no joy in finding the perfect present, just stress about crossing items off a list.

Ugh.

Just the thought of broaching the mall area of Bangor stresses me out normally, now it's strictly a no-go between the Halloween and New Year's. Too scary. Really, it's just a matter of time before we have a "postal worker" incident at a mall, there's simply too much stress in one small place.

Ugh. I'm getting agitated just thinking about all this crap.

---

Having said all this, for some reason this year I don't feel as stressed. It could be the onset of online shopping, which led to me not having to leave the house as much. It could be the wifey, who tackles all of the difficult people to shop for in our family.

Hell, it could be the fact that I'm getting to go to the Celts/Magic game the 23rd.

Whatever it is, for the first time since we've moved into our house we've played Christmas music (solely while decorating the tree, of course.) Hey, we even put up some lights this year (just candles, anything more is tacky.) And in the miracle of miracles, the wifey even found a tree topper that we didn't hate. No, it's not a PBR can.

I'm sure I'll be sick of the holidays before I get home from our seemingly endless trek around New England, but until then, I'll just sit back and relax in my relatively un-scroogilicious mood.

Eff you bud light

2007-12-18T10:58:00.000-08:00

major sent along this bud commercial...

Movies or tv shows on DVD

2007-12-17T09:00:00.000-08:00

Hola mis amigos

I'm percolating a longer post for later today, possibly tomorrow. But for now, something I've been meaning to ask:

Are there any movies or tv shows that you all have seen recently that are out on dvd, and are worth watching? Better obviously if you loved them, but even if you just thought it was interesting.

The wife and I have been in a little bit of a Netflix drought recently. Actually, we haven't made it through any of the movies we've rented, and have in fact hated all of them. (Yes, I'm talking about you Superbad, you pile of crap you.)

I'll start in the comments, but I'm hoping we can get some inspiration..

Entering the McCarthy era of sports

2007-12-15T06:22:00.001-08:00

Pretty sure I wrote something the other day about how those who don't study history are doomed to repeat it. Obviously not an original thought by me. I would have thought that someone as bright as Senator Mitchell would have heard thought before.

The Mitchell Report that came out Thursday is little more than innuendo and gossip. Look, for some of the people named, such as Roger Clemens, there seems to be solid proof. I don't doubt that many of the people in this report are guilty of using performance enhancing drugs. My problem with the report is the seemingly haphazard inclusion of names into the report. The example that seems to be getting thrown around the most is that of Brian Roberts. Here is the evidence against him, directly from the report:

Segui introduced Bigbie and Brian Roberts to Radomski over lunch. Afterward, Segui made a steroid purchase from Radomski from inside Radomski’s car, which, according to Bigbie, was heavily stocked with performance enhancing substances and paraphernalia. Roberts was not present.

and later

Brian Roberts is an infielder who has played for the Baltimore Orioles since 2001.
He has been selected to two All-Star teams. Roberts and Larry Bigbie were both rookies in 2001. According to Bigbie, both he and Roberts lived in Segui’s house in the Baltimore area during the latter part of that season.

When Bigbie and Segui used steroids in the house, Roberts did not participate. According to Bigbie, however, in 2004 Roberts admitted to him that he had injected himself once or twice with steroids in 2003. Until this admission, Bigbie had never suspected Roberts of using steroids. In order to provide Roberts with information about these allegations and to give him an opportunity to respond, I asked him to meet with me; he declined.

Really, is this enough information to completely ruin someone's reputation? Largely, what that all amounted to was, he told me he used it once but I never thought he did or suspected him of it. Huh? Come on now. I need a little bit more than that before I'm ready to tar and feather people.

---

One last thing about this whole issue. The only person who really surprised me that they were included was Andy Pettitte. I was a little disappointed, to be honest. Until I read the section about him, where it gave his reasons:

McNamee said that Pettitte called him while Pettitte was rehabilitating his elbow in Tampa, where the Yankees have a facility, and asked again about human growth hormone. Pettitte stated that he wanted to speed his recovery and help his team.

Really, is this supposed to bother me? He used HGH, which is not proven to be harmful, because he wanted to get back to pitching in order to help his team. How is that any different than a cortisone shot? Because of it's legality? Seriously? This sort of use doesn't bother me even a little bit. And from what I've read, this was the most prevalent use. The other most common reason for use was fringe players trying to make it to the pros. I don't blame them even a little bit. Is it cheating if everyone else is doing it? Or is just the rules of the game? If the best players in the game, and Clemens and Bonds are quite possibly the best pitcher and best hitter of at least the last 50 years, were using, how could I possibly blame fringe players who were trying to catch up?

---

OK, one last thing, which I've read before, said before, whatever. Why is it that everybody talks about steriods in baseball, and nobody talks about football and the fact that everybody in in football is bigger and faster than ever? Isn't clear that quite a lot of the people who are bigger and faster, in track and field, in baseball, and yes, in precious football, are using steriods, hgh, and anything else they can get their hands on?

reconstructing hell

2007-12-13T05:27:00.000-08:00

8º - feels like death. when i was pursuing my MA at the exceptional university of maine, i took a class that suggested "man" is inherently violent. i won't go into the details that were suggested by "them" – simply because i think they missed something crucial. "man" likes to be warm. there is fire in hell. fire is warm. "man" is inherently violent because if there is an after life – they want the warmth to continue. "man" is inherently violent because a person or persons created the wrong hell. what were they thinking when the conceived hell as a warm place? hell should be reconstructed as a extremely frigid, dark place. a place that no "man" would desire. if hell was such a place, "man" would not be inherently violent. "man" would be inherently peaceful. we need this reconstruction to begin immediately. tell your neighbors, family, and friends. your students and co-workers. hell is a fucking cold dark place that you don't want to be.

tough day at work

2007-12-11T14:57:00.000-08:00

today i watched all 3 matrix movies ...

Rare Situation

2007-12-11T11:19:00.000-08:00

The Patsies are in a rare situation this weekend. Rare for them anyways. For the first time this year, they are going into a game where people other than Pats fans might be rooting for them. All year, they have been portrayed (not unjustifiably, really) as cheaters, thugs, and poor sports. They have also been portrayed as quite possibly the best team ever. (Also more or less justifiable.)

Really, the only NFL team that's taken it from the media worse than the Pats, is the Jets. Mangini has been described as basically a snivelling little rat who turned on his master, as a terrible coach, coaching a terrible team. (Also justifiable.) Oh, and people think he's fat. (It's interesting that the same people who crucify Belichick for cheating, vilify Mangini for turning him in. You can't have it both ways people.)

Having listened to some of the national sports talk people talk about this game, I've sensed a sort of evil anticipation in them, similar to the rubberneckers or "watching an impending train wreck" sort. Most seem to think Belichick is going to try to embarrass the Jets. Some have predicted the Pats will score 100 points. Nobody but nobody thinks the Pats will lose this game. Hell, Eric Mangini's mother probably doesn't even think they have a chance.

Personally.. I'm watching this game. Normally the game is on in our house, but I may be snoozing, or reading, browsing the internets... Not this time. Billy B is capable of anything here. It wouldn't surprise me to see onside kicks (Yes, that is an intentional plural) when up by 30, going for it on fourth down, Rodney Harrison accidentally kicking the Mangenius in his nutty buddy.

This is must-see tv. From the opening (hopefully onsides) kick, to the closing handshake, (God I hope mangini goes for the hug) anything could happen.

Is it wrong that this is only the second Pat's game all year I've been even remotely excited about?

What is happening to me???

2007-12-10T16:35:00.000-08:00

I have come to the realization that I have become something I have never been before...a whore. A computer whore that is. I was never really fascinated by computers and never had one growing up. Never even had one in college or in my first few years teaching. I always used the ones at school and said good-bye at the end of the day and that was that.
Then there came MLTI (that is Maine Learning Technology Initiative for you children who have been left behind). I now have my very own iMac book complete with lots of crazy applications where I can make comic books, play on itunes, create slide shows, and even take pictures of myself in my very own photo booth. I am suppose to be learning amazing new strategies in helping my kids become technology savvy and learn more about history at the same time. Instead, all I can so is move from account to account seeing if there have been any new updates.

I discovered this was a problem when I was at the gym tonight and this is what was running from my head:
"I wonder how my fantasy team is doing? Did any fantasy guys make some smack talk remarks" (I won by the way. One step closer to victory. I love you Tom Brady in more ways than you realize),"Did Steve write a new long-winded blog? What about a smart-ass remark back from Jason?", "Did I get any new e-mails? Better check my school account and my gmail", "I wonder if I have any new notifications on facebook? How can I waste hours spying on my friends and checking out their pictures and new "status updates", "Oh! I missed the Hills last night. Better watch it on-line!"

I think you get the point. I need help. I think I might have to turn in my computer and join some type of AA group. I don't know what step I am on but I need help!
~Major aka Computer Junkie
I have included a picture from my photo booth. Notice our tree topper. So classy here at East Skiddah!

Ombudsman

2007-12-10T10:33:00.001-08:00

I'm fascinated by the idea of ESPN's Ombudsman (who is actually a woman). As I understand it, the job of an Ombudsman is basically the represent the view of the common person to whoever has hired them. (Interestingly enough, there is an Ombudsman for some parts of the US Government, including the Dept of Homeland Security. Think they listen to him?) To me, that sounds suspiciously like a VP of Common Sense.

Anyways, that seems to be how ESPN's Ombudsman, Le Anne Schrieber is dealing with it. She has some problems with the way that the World Wide Leader is handling some issues, particularly some hot topic issues. As do I. Unlike me, she has access to the people that control these things, and gets to ask them why they're stupid. I think the answers go a long ways towards explaining what's wrong with sports today. From the sports talk guy who is filling time and getting ratings by shooting off the cuff, to the respected journalists who are trying to both remain relevant and employed, hot topic, instant history (or histrionic) news reporting doesn't look good on ESPN, or, for that matter, on Fox News. But it definitely does get ratings.

Anyways, read her column if you're interested in that sort of thing. Jason, I realize this does not include you.

Candy Gram for Mongo

2007-12-10T08:24:00.000-08:00

Mark Littell, a former pitcher for the Kansas City Royals, has designed a new and improved athletic supporter.

The best part, "Littell’s cups come with macho names: “Hammer,” “Boss,” “Hog” and for really big men, the XL-sized “Mongo,” a salute to a the ogre like character in the movie “Blazing Saddles.”

Someone (Jason) hijacked my FShow account!

2007-12-08T09:06:00.001-08:00

It's true what he said, I do love him, but that was not my post.

I love my husband

2007-12-08T09:04:00.001-08:00

I have the most handsome, kindest, and most romantic husband a girl could ever dream up. I love you peach!

does anyone else find it strange?

2007-12-07T12:25:00.000-08:00

that k just came home in the middle of the work day, pooped, kissed me on the cheek, and then went back to work.

visco

2007-12-07T12:12:00.000-08:00

when did you become so long winded?

A Tale of Two Cities

2007-12-07T09:33:00.000-08:00

Everybody's heard the first line of A Tale of Two Cities, by Charles Dickens. "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times." It's possible that these are the best opening lines to any novel, ever. I can't think of any that are more famous anyways. It's in the lines that follow that the theme of Dickens' book become evident.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way— in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.

A Tale of Two Cities was published in 1859 about a period of time that starts around the mid 1700s and ends about 30 years later, based in London and Paris. The opening lines make clear that things have not changed that much in the years that have passed, and one of the reasons this book has held up so well is that things haven't really changed all that much in the years between then and now. The overriding themes involve a ruling class that ignores basic human rights, criminal proceedings that are unnecessarily cruel, oh, and human doppelgangers. Other than that last one, sound familiar?

Ultimately, the social injustice Dickens writes of lead to the French Revolution, and the decapitation of many, many French nobles. I'm not saying I think that's a good thing, but it's too bad that our fearless leader in Shrubbery wasn't an English major or a History major at Yale. If he was, I'm sure he would have read that those who ignore history are doomed to repeat it.

Anyways, this is Dickens at his best, with plot twists, nobility and evil, strong characterizations. Like most Dickens, it was a serial novel that came out periodically in newspapers, much like a tv series of today. Probably due to this, A Tale of Two Cities is a book that ebbs and flows nicely, and there are the equivalent of cliff hangers periodically, where you can imagine 19th century readers rushing to get the newspapers to find out what happened to their favorite characters.

I've read A Tale of Two Cities some years ago, it stood with Great Expectations as one of my favorite Dickens. This time around I'm listening to it, downloaded for free at Librivox. (The serial nature of the book actually lends itself nicely to audio format.) For those unfamiliar, Librivox is a public domain site, where people volunteer to read books/works in the public domain and upload them for public consumption. The readers are hit and miss, as is the quality of the readings. This one is excellent so far all around, but not all are. They are free though, and their selection is really pretty impressive. Anybody who likes audio books should check it out. Plus Goody, you don't have to actually read the words yourself. No pictures though, sorry.

major?

2007-12-07T05:55:00.000-08:00

have you been to jc penney lately? they are having a huge sale – i got k a pair of lee jeans for christmas – they were only 24.99!

bob

2007-12-07T05:41:00.000-08:00

why is bob not in this here blog? major, your a history teacher? can't you teach bob the historical importance of reading and writing?

-4

2007-12-07T05:31:00.000-08:00

this can't be good for a person ...

Regarding Age and Politics

2007-12-06T17:22:00.000-08:00

I like the "or what" part of Major's post. That's the term that seems most applicable.

On aging: I have recently spent some time (not much) thinking about it. Actually, I think the only way for me to deal is to change my chronology numbering scheme to be BASE-30. That way, at the end of January, I'll be turning 10. (Which also happens to be the number of beers that I will drink before noon.)

Who or what are you supporting in 2008???

2007-12-06T09:27:00.000-08:00

A colleague of mine sent this to me yesterday and I thought it might be of interest to some of you.
Enjoy!

This
is an interesting design for candidate-preference diagnostic quiz. I am
not sure it measures what it thinks it measures, but it has an
interesting way to factor in the importance of various issues.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/politics/interactives/candidatequiz/

If it's gonna be cold...

2007-12-05T11:28:00.000-08:00

If it's gonna be cold, there might as well be two feet of snow on the ground. Nothing I hate worse than dark, dreary, freezing cold winters without even the courtesy to throw us some snow for entertainment's sake. At least now I can think to myself, well, if you had motivation, and $120, you and the wifey could go skiing. (Of course, by February, I'll need $144.)

As it is, I'm going to be getting home after dark, again. Despite the dark, I'll take the mutt for a walk, or in her case, a run, and in my case, an enforced slide followed by headfirst dives into snow banks to avoid college students flying around and trucks coming from the water treatment plant. After this, I'll work on the house for a couple hours, and then read and drink some wine for a bit. After that, I'll cook some dinner, by which time the wife should be home. After dinner, it'll be back to the wine and the book. The book: Live From New York: An Uncensored History of Saturday Night Live, as Told By Its Stars, Writers and Guests. The wine: whatever's open.

Yup. It's winter in Maine.

Sweet 30!

2007-12-04T14:54:00.000-08:00

Alright, I have decided it is time for a female to chime in here on the F Show. We all know that females do hold most of the wisdom of our species so I thought I would share my wisdom on getting older.

Regressing back to an earlier post by Steve and his feelings about turning 30, I thought I would put my two cents in on joining "the club". I recently joined this ever growing group in August but really didn't think much about it before hand. It wasn't until my mother (of all people) asked me last spring what I wanted to do for the big celebration. I hadn't planned on having a big celebration or even thought about the implications of moving into a new number system. Then it became a big focus in my life but mostly brought on by other people. My mom insisted on going on a big mother/daughter trip to Spain. (I know. What a bitch to have to travel for free, enjoying lots of good wine, and drinking sangrias by our rooftop pool)

Then came my actual birthday. I didn't have to go to work (thank you for teacher compensation days), had a wonderful lunch drinking bloody mary's and shopping with my partner Liz, and then ended the night with a surprise party. I got to make my own wine, cruise around the Old Port in my very own Hummer limo, danced to the Awesome, and then ended the night at Bill's pizza. (Liz or Anna- no further comments here from either of you) It honestly was the best birthday of my life.

Since then I have been to Vegas (where Liz and I partied with Joe Torre's nephews), went to a Red Sox/Yankee game at Fenway, saw my boyfriend Tom play at Gilette Stadium, made it to my football fantasy play-offs for the first time in years, and had a camp built for me (thank you JR).

Long story short, 30 has been pretty damn good. If my next decade is anything like my past 3 months, bring it on baby.

Cheers!
Major

And to make sure this post is really girly, here are some pictures of my adventures.

"

embarrassed alumn

2007-12-04T13:07:00.000-08:00

i was just at burby's picking up a pouch of jester in walked a college student from our great university of maine looking for a christmas gift for his mom how sweet i quote my mom was just in scotland and she got herself a taste for scotch i was wondering if you have any but it has to be the kind from scotland what is our great university teaching these young people? obviously not common sense or the finer things in life i have more to add but i'll just finish with a ...

the dislikeness of being

2007-12-04T11:58:00.001-08:00

i dislike grammar and i'm refusing to use it on this blog from here on out i'm sure this will cause visco much heart ache and he i will eventually get banned but oh well well i might use an occasional "–" because really if your thoughts aren't connected they should be kept to yourself and the "..." because if there isn't anything more going on in your head than what your writing well if feel for you and maybe an "!" if i'm a little excited and maybe "?" what's life without questions? however i just determined there is something i dislike more than grammar and that is shoveling the snow at the end of the driveway what a harsh task – we also lost our mailbox today fucking mail guy delivered mail the day i put it out he laughed and said that won't make it through the first snow storm yeah fu mr postal guy that was four years ago ...

Nice decision UMaine, way to be smaht

2007-12-04T09:43:00.000-08:00

So, no cancellation of school again today, just a 10 am start. Now, the roads were more or less fine, until you got on campus. The roads were shoddily plowed, but that was to be expected, as shoddiness is a-ok by the University of Maine. No, that was fine. The problem I have, is they hadn't plowed the stupid parking lots. Morons. And of course, students are idiots, so they just parked every which way in their efforts to get to class, so the plow trucks now can't get through.

Nice planning, UMaine. Way to use the ol' noggin.

Idiots.

---

Anyways, hell of a game last night! For those three of my friends that actually have cable, and for the one of you that can actually stay up late enough to watch the end of the game, (Liz, that'd be you) what'd you think?

Seriously though, anyone else think it was a little weird that ESPN invited Don Shula into the booth to talk about how bad he wanted the Patriots to lose? Were they trying to jinx things? I mean, it's not easy to make me feel bad for these particular Patriot's, but that seemed a little wrong. Fortunately, every single little thing possible went the Patsies way on the last drive of the game, to keep the undefeated season alive for one more week. Another note, Tom Brady may get the credit for winning that game with the last minute drive, but I really think Rodney Harrison should get at least as much credit. He was all over the place, making big play, after big play.

On one last note, as much as the NFL drives me a little nuts with their grandstanding, and pseudo moral superiority, they at least have a playoffs. Way to be College Football. This year, finally, nobody has any idea who the top two teams really are. Nice work. If I cared a little more, I might just rant about this. But, I don't care about college football, so I guess I'll just go back to the quiet solitude of my office.

Don't forget to put roses on my grave

2007-12-03T15:37:00.000-08:00

Many variables accounted for the death of this Pesnobby. Details will be provided, not for your sake, but for rationalization of the deceased.

A. Time was not on his side
While alive, the Pesnobby would leave his house almost every morning for a 5 mile walk in the wilderness, or play golf if you will. 2 to 4 hours later, depending on how many q-tips with tits were also out walking in the wilderness, the Pesnobby would return home to find the old house exactly as he left it. Still unpainted. Grass demanding to be cut. Floors wanting new poly. Windows needing to be replaced. Rooms without ceilings. Confused, the Pesnobby continued to go for his morning walk in the wilderness

B. Here it comes, here it comes, here it comes, here it comes
The Pesnobby found out his wife stopped taking her BKP's (baby killing pills), coupled with his natural instinct to push in, rather than pull out, the Pesnobby fixated on the adjustments that might be necessary if ...

C. I can get more satisfaction
Thinking about all the other things that the he could do with $2250 finally killed the Pesnobby. The following top 10 list was recovered from the Pesnobby's body.
10. Give the money to those Sallie Mae Fuckers
9. Purchase 15 pairs - Citizen of Humanity jeans for the wifey
8. Buy 7,758 linear feet of #2 clapboards
7. Replace both of Cassidy's ACL's
6. Buy 593 pouches of Jester
5. Buy 37,500 shares of BioWillie
4. Buy 281 bottles of Ravenswood Zin, not including tax + deposit
3. Buy enough gasoline to drive from Orono to Anchorage, back to Orono, back to Anchorage, back to Orono, back to Anchorage
2. Watch a women at Fred's Truck Stop in Missoula Montana pick up two thousand two hundred and fifty dollar bills with her ass.
1. Provide two meals for 17,763 children in Africa

Yeah Snow Day

2007-12-03T10:40:00.000-08:00

Oh wait, no snow day for UMaine. But, but, I can see the snow! It looks dangerous!

The wifey has a snow day. Hell, the Maine Legislature has a snow day. Not me though. I have to slave away... sitting here in my warm house... drinking hot coffee... Guess it really doesn't matter if it's snowing or not. (Mental note: It's not really all that tough to be me.) Kind of puts a damper on the whining a bit, but that's never stopped me before.

Seriously though, the University should be closed today. I think they forget sometimes that this isn't 1960 anymore, and never mind the professional staff, but a large number of their students don't live on campus anymore.

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You know what I'm sick of? This whole Johan Santana trade thing. This is what I hate about baseball. I know I am a Yankees fan, and they have the highest payroll in baseball, and blah blah blah. Johan Santana should be on the Twins. It's bad for baseball that only three or four teams could afford him. That said, I would much rather the Yankees get him than the Red Sox, because a Santana/Beckett/Dice-k/Bucholz/Lester rotation scares me a lot for the next 5 years, at least. Nevermind Schilling and Wakefield for the next few years. Jesus. I'm sure the Yankees will find a way to compete, but that's pretty intimidating.

Meet the Press (or, Front Runner)

2007-12-01T14:55:00.000-08:00

Sunday's Meet the Press was pretty interesting. Roughly half the show dedicated to Dems, half to Repub. That's around 48 minutes of coverage total, 24 each. Edwards was not mentioned until 20 minutes into the Dems section. The others weren't mentioned at all, save when they served as a foil for the front running two. Democracy in this country may not be dead, but it's on some pretty technologically advanced life support.

I just snorted a Linux

2007-11-30T15:52:00.000-08:00

Most of you won't care. But, just in case: I just formatted my C: drive and installed Fedora 8, which is a public open source Linux distribution. This was on my desktop, a '01 Dell Pentium 4 1.7 Ghz 512 MB RAM and a 120 GB / 40 GB hd setup. I previously had 2 XP installations running dual boot, now i have Linux and XP dual. Fedora wants to play right out of the box. Sound, Vid, everything works like a champ. Networking? It's a go. Sees my other XP box without even trying. Even two XP boxes don't play this well together. Am i converted? Yes. Until something goes wrong. Oh yeah, and it's fast.

Snore

2007-11-30T10:34:00.001-08:00

I spent half of yesterday in meetings, and the other half researching the difference in the non-profit status of a 501(c)(3) and a 501(c)(4) entity. Needless to say, I am very ready for it to be the weekend.

I am also very ready for it to be a weekend where I don't have to go anywhere. Sweet Jebus, I can sleep in. Or, I could sleep in were it not for the stupid fact that the only time I seem to be sound asleep these days is in the half hour before I have to get up to get working. Stupid malicious insomnia and it's cruel sleep depriving jokes. You would think if anything would put me to sleep it would be reading tax law, but apparently not.

---

Anyhoo.

---

Anybody watch the Celtics/Knicks game last night? Quite a competition, eh? I'm not positive, but I think I saw several of the Knicks players flatline on the court last night. Yeah, that's right, I said it. The Knicks have no heart.

---

Tried to read a book last night called Stumbling on Happiness by Daniel Gilbert. Supposedly it was out of the Tipping Point/Blink/Freakonomics mold, but concentrated on the fact that people basically don't know what makes them happy. Sort of. Well, the book might have gotten interesting if the stupid author didn't think he was so funny. Oh, and trust me, he was not funny. At all. I last about three pages in and had to close the books. Stupid academics and their snotty nose in the air sense of superiority humor. Now I need to go back to the library and find a book to read that doesn't suck.

---

Anyways, my office has cleared out for the weekend, which is nice. That means I can either a) turn up my music all the way and actually get some work done, or b) go home. It's a tough call. Thank god I don't know anyone who I could talk into going out for a beer right now, because then I would have an option c) See how many Guiness' I can drink before it gets dark out.

---

Yeah, I think there's a real possibilty that the c)s would have it if only I could convince someone else this was a good idea.

Alright, I'm outta here. I gotta make some calls.

Wade Boggs likes beer

2007-11-30T06:05:00.000-08:00

Drunk Monkeys

2007-11-29T10:08:00.000-08:00

Watching this never gets old.

Time for a crisis

2007-11-28T17:44:00.000-08:00

Soon enough, I'll be making a momentous turn into my third decade. That's right people. Despite by boyish good looks, and my obvious immaturity, not to mention the fact that I just learned how to tie my shoes last year, this January I will be turning 30.

Ack.

So.. I suppose it's time for a mid-life crisis right? I never really have been the convertible type, but maybe I can buy myself a nice big power boat. I've already got the trophy wife, so that's taken care of. What are some other symptoms of a mid-life crisis? Maybe I should quit my job and go build a cabin? Does building a shed count? If so, quitting my job can certainly be arranged.

Well, fortunately I have a little over a month before the day of doom hits. Because, to be honest, right now I'm not feeling all that panicky. I mean, I don't particularly miss being younger, really. I could do without the beer belly that shows up every now and then, and I liked playing HS baseball, and don't get me wrong, college was a good time. Some days, the responsibility of owning a house and being married seems like a lot. But honestly, it's really more reassuring than anything. I don't miss paying rent, or sharing a wall with neighbors, and I certainly don't miss the dating game. Not even a little bit.

I do kind of miss playing intramural sports, and playing pickup basketball everyday. Also? The random Tuesday nights in York Hall when we would accidentally drink way too many busch bar bottles watching some random movie on the Campus movie channel. That was fun.

Read, damnit

2007-11-27T10:06:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I wonder why I bother writing my little, crappy book reviews. I mean, I'm perfectly aware that none of you actually read them, and that those that do have no intention of ever reading any of the books I talk about. That's fine. Hell, nobody really reads anymore, anyways. (This link is a pdf, but I couldn't find a link to a text version of the report.)

Anyways, I'm writing another book review. Read it, don't read it, look at it longing for picture books, do what you will.

---

Largely due to the fact that I am a gigantic dork, one of my favorite things to do is to wander through libraries/bookstores looking for books to read. Recently, I have been informed that I can't buy anymore books, as I don't seem to have anywhere to put them all. Sad state of affairs, really. So.. I've been confining my wandering to the library. And to be honest, it's paying off. I've written about a couple of the great books I've found this way, and yesterday I found another.

Soon I Will Be Invincible, by Austin Grossman is a debut novel, and I will not do a good enough job describing the plot to make anyone want to read it, but I might be able to get the tone right. Roughly speaking, SIWBI switches back and forth between two narrators on opposite sides of a battle. In some ways, this is a cops and robbers sort of book. In others, it is a set of character studies, as both narrators describe the same (and different) stories from their perspective.

Oh, did I mention that this is a book about Superheroes? One of the narrators is a Cyborg named Fatale, and the other is a megalomaniac genius intent on world domination, in the mold of Dr. Evil or Lex Luthor.

See that? I lost you already.

All I can say to convince anybody to read this book is to describe how I'm reading it.

Some books, I can't put down, I'm so anxious to get to the end and figure out what happens.

Some, I can't wait to put down, because they suck so much.

Others, like this one, I wish I could make myself read slower, because I'm enjoying it so much I don't want to finish. I read half the book last night, and will probably finish it tonight, because I'm dying to get back to it, but I may just finish the book and turn back to the first page to read it again.

Does it get old?

2007-11-27T09:59:00.000-08:00

Nope. It really doesn't.

The Brady Song:

And even though they don't really hold up to the original, there's more where that came from...

"A committee is...

2007-11-21T13:37:00.000-08:00

"A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary."
-Fred Allen

I think the dog is trying to send us a message.

2007-11-21T09:44:00.001-08:00

I suppose it's possible that it's time for us to turn the heat on .

"Sweet Caroline" revealed

2007-11-21T06:02:00.000-08:00

That Neil Diamond ditty they play during the eighth inning at Fenway Park? Turns out it's about JFK's daughter. Breaking years of silence on the subject, Diamond has revealed that Caroline Kennedy was the secret inspiration for "Sweet Caroline," the 1969 smash hit that's played at every Red Sox home game.

http://www.boston.com/ae/celebrity/articles/2007/11/21/sweet_caroline_revealed/

Not sure I'm ready for this...

2007-11-20T10:55:00.001-08:00

Snow.

It's snowed in Orono already this year, but this is the first real snow. It's been snowing maybe an hour, and the grass is white. In fact, already the University looks a bit cleaner.

Ugh.

Maybe, the sooner winter starts, the sooner it will be over. Right? Come on people, lie to me.

Jesus I'm not sure I'm ready for this.

An Entirely New Sort of Fandom

2007-11-19T07:49:00.000-08:00

I've been a fan of winning teams before. During my college years, the Yankees won the World Series 3 of 4 years. (1996, 1998, 1999.) Of course, they also won in 2000, but I was a working man at that point. But the nature of being a Yankees fan in New England is a weird one. The only games you get to see are the Yankees/Red Sox games, or the random ESPN games. With a sport like baseball, you only get a true feel for a team by watching the teams day in and day out. I remember watching game 7 of the 2004 World Series with a friend of mine who was a huge, huge Red Sox fan. He had literally watched or listened to every single Red Sox game that year. His experience watching that team, who he had seen play 176 games, was entirely different from mine, watching maybe 10 Yankees games the first time I saw them win the Series. Also, I was a freshman in York Hall, and while this might surprise some of you, I remember being ferociously over-served that night.

Anyways, my point is, that I've never followed a great team, and been able to watch them day in/day out. Yes, the Pats are great, but as I've said before I am more of a bandwagon Pats fan than anything else. If they started losing tomorrow, I wouldn't care. Plus, football generally bores the shit out of me. (Other than, of course, fantasy football. Which is a whole nother story.)

I do follow the Celtics though, and this years team looks to have the potential for greatness. I vaguely remember the last Celtics championship, but I had no investment at that point. Since I can really remember, and since I have cared, the Celtics have been generally awful, with the occasional burst of mediocrity. Even their run into the Eastern Conference finals a few years ago was not an exercise in greatness, it was an exercise in, well, watching a successful train wreck.

This year's team though, is legitimately good. At times, many times, they are actually great. I really don't know how to root for a basketball team playing like this. Last night, for example, the Celtics lost their first game of the season. They played hard, but just didn't have it. They were on the road, playing a good team, and lost by 2. They even had a chance to win on a Paul Pierce three at the buzzer. In years past, this would have been a moral victory in many ways. Now? All I could notice was everything that went wrong this game that hadn't gone wrong the previous games this season. What's wrong with me? The Celtics have already won 8 games, they only won 24 last year. I should just relax and enjoy the ride, right? Easier said then done. Now I want them to win every game, and to look great doing it.

Oh well. While I may not know what I am doing in this new sort of fandom, I am enjoying it. I'll learn.

Rock Band

2007-11-17T09:46:00.000-08:00

...will kids in the future discover pivotal, genre-defining bands like the Rolling Stones through this very medium? And of those who maybe get inspired to start a band or jam with their friends, how many will forgo the garage experience for the living room? Will we read, in an interview with the next Kurt Cobain, that the first time he heard "Gimme Shelter" or the Sex Pistols was in a video game?

http://popwatch.ew.com/popwatch/2007/11/the-rock-band-1.html

Countertops and sheds

2007-11-14T06:16:00.000-08:00

Spent this last weekend doing work on the house. Actually, more accurately I spent last weekend helping other people do work on our house. In a roughly chronological sequence:

Off to a slow start.

2007-11-13T08:14:00.000-08:00

So, Visco created this sweet blog to have everyones well formed ideas,thoughts, passions expressed onto this whiteboard medium, just to see no one write anything. So we are off to a slow start.

I'd like to bring back an old blog both Steve and I touched upon at one point. The topic of discussion was about the length of time to stay at your current employer. Both Steve's dad and my dad have been at their jobs for 30+ years. I have had 4 different jobs since I been out of college and guess what? Yup, next Monday I'll be on my fifth.

Sounds a little crazy, I know. But I really attribute my short term record to the profession that I am in; Computers, programming. My positions requires me to learn new things every day. It's a constant game of sudoku or crossword puzzle. With learning new things all the time, or at least wanting/needing to learn new things all the time, it becomes clear of your companies stance on growth. You easily see the direction that they are heading. This vision has been a clear reason for my new job searches.

I am really excited about my new position. I will be the technical lead at a company that does not have a strong technical division. I will have the chance to mold and form this division as I see fit. Almost like starting my own company, but already having a thriving company behind you. The name you ask? Well, I'll leave that out, but call me /email me if you want any more juice details. I'll still be in p-town.

So let the comments pour in. How long have you been at the same employer. Have you ever left? Why?

Slowly, slowly, slowly

2007-11-07T15:49:00.000-08:00

This time of year, I get out of work and it's dark. Now, people like Liz, this is the norm. Of course, for normal, non-vampires, this kind of sucks. (Get it? Vampire? Sucks? Seriously, this stuff is gold people.)

So, as I enter into my seasonal depression, I am once again attempting to exercise afte work. Chasing the dog around the block may count technically as exercise, but for me it's not quite enough. Lifting weights with my physique is obviously out of the question, due to the embarrassment factor.

So... I'm dragging myself back to the pool. Last year, I started swimming again. At one point, I was a fairly good swimmer. I had two hour practices every day where I swam ungodly distances. This was obviously before York Hall, beer, and well, my late 20's. Starting up last year was a blow to my ego, but I got in a routine, and swam a mile or so about five days a week for four months or so. Unfortunately, I had to travel a lot last year, and every time I went out of town I would break my routine, and it got harder and harder to slip back into it, until by February I was done.

Well, like I said, I dragged myself back into the pool this week, and once again, it has been an ego-denting experience. Monday, I swam about a half mile, and by the end of it I felt like I was dragging an anchor behind me. Today was a little better, in that I was pretty sure I wasn't going to drown. Not positive, but pretty sure.

It's times like these that I think back to some of the abuse I've put my body through and think to myself, "Self, maybe you shouldn't have done that." I call the me that thinks that Good Steve. (It's also Good Steve that thinks, "I'm never drinking again", and "Maybe I SHOULD start volunteering somewhere."

Then, as soon as some the self-loathing misery of being an out of shape slob wears away, I drunk myself a little vino, and think to myself "Self, you should probably have another glass, that last one was pretty damn good." We call this Steve, well, we just call him Steve.

you are a sad, strange little wagon, and you have my pity.

2007-11-07T11:26:00.001-08:00

The wifey's working late tonight, so I'll write something tonight. I'm going to go ahead and assume that you all know how to post, if you don't, let me know and I'll talk you through it. Also, if you know anyone else that you think might be interested, let me know and I'll invite them. Right now the people who can post a message are: Jeff, John, Major, Ryan, me. Anyone can comment, and anyone can read it. If you all want to change the design, settings, or whatever, just let me know and I'll tackle that.

Until then,

Slogan

2007-11-06T10:08:00.001-08:00

Now that we've named the blog, we need to decide on a slogan. Any ideas?

goodwin rocks

2007-11-06T08:57:00.000-08:00

yup, it works

Testing

2007-11-06T08:40:00.001-08:00

If you can, post something. Just trying to figure out how this whole piece works.