Don't forget to put roses on my grave

Many variables accounted for the death of this Pesnobby. Details will be provided, not for your sake, but for rationalization of the deceased.

A. Time was not on his side
While alive, the Pesnobby would leave his house almost every morning for a 5 mile walk in the wilderness, or play golf if you will. 2 to 4 hours later, depending on how many q-tips with tits were also out walking in the wilderness, the Pesnobby would return home to find the old house exactly as he left it. Still unpainted. Grass demanding to be cut. Floors wanting new poly. Windows needing to be replaced. Rooms without ceilings. Confused, the Pesnobby continued to go for his morning walk in the wilderness

B. Here it comes, here it comes, here it comes, here it comes
The Pesnobby found out his wife stopped taking her BKP's (baby killing pills), coupled with his natural instinct to push in, rather than pull out, the Pesnobby fixated on the adjustments that might be necessary if ...

C. I can get more satisfaction
Thinking about all the other things that the he could do with $2250 finally killed the Pesnobby. The following top 10 list was recovered from the Pesnobby's body.
10. Give the money to those Sallie Mae Fuckers
9. Purchase 15 pairs - Citizen of Humanity jeans for the wifey
8. Buy 7,758 linear feet of #2 clapboards
7. Replace both of Cassidy's ACL's
6. Buy 593 pouches of Jester
5. Buy 37,500 shares of BioWillie
4. Buy 281 bottles of Ravenswood Zin, not including tax + deposit
3. Buy enough gasoline to drive from Orono to Anchorage, back to Orono, back to Anchorage, back to Orono, back to Anchorage
2. Watch a women at Fred's Truck Stop in Missoula Montana pick up two thousand two hundred and fifty dollar bills with her ass.
1. Provide two meals for 17,763 children in Africa